


A Peaceful Night

by Caisin



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Future Fic, Panic Attacks, Post series finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-06 02:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20499572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caisin/pseuds/Caisin
Summary: When Regina is anxious about some of Hope's milestones, Emma is always there to comfort her.  ...eventually.  But no one knows how to cheer Regina up like her wife, so everything will be fine, right?





	A Peaceful Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Z_OTAKU19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Z_OTAKU19/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Peaceful Night [Art]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20390257) by [Z_OTAKU19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Z_OTAKU19/pseuds/Z_OTAKU19). 

> first off, a CONTENT WARNING!!! this fic is dealing with healing from trauma and gets pretty heavy into some mental illness stuff. that includes intrusive thoughts, anxiety, panic attacks, references to past trauma, self loathing and obsessive thinking. it does NOT deal with self harm. if there's something that you wish i'd warned for, please let me know so i can add it. 
> 
> a massive thanks to Randi for dealing with pictures of my bad handwriting all summer so she could flail and cheer me on. you have no idea how much you helped me get this written! and thank you sqsn mods, as always. you've managed another year of getting swen to produce a shit load of new fanworks, and that's incredible.
> 
> please go check out Z_OTAKU19's art! it's beautiful and inspired me to finally write a story i've had rolling around in my head for the past year.

“Mama!” 

The cry is clearly in her head, yet distant. It echoes through her, panicked and desperate and afraid. And so, so sure that Regina will be able to save her from whatever horrors await it.

Images of Henry being snatched away float behind Regina’s eyes. Greg Mendel’s sickening grin glares down at her. Pan’s mocking crow as Henry lies deathly still on the ground. Hook’s false grief as he tells them Ry has fallen overboard; one last lie before being banished from Storybrooke forever.

More and more memories. Other imagined fears. They swim and swirl through her head, as solid and real as if they were still happening.

And they turn so easily. The little boy shifting. Morphing into long, dark curls, and chubby light brown cheeks. It’s so easy for every one of her traumas with Henry to be imagined, vividly, happening to Hope.

The girl has had a blessedly carefree life. Storybrooke has been quiet these past seven years as it hasn’t since before Emma came to town. The occasional villain passing through doesn’t dare touch the precious daughter of the Queen and the Savior as they wreak their petty chaos. No one with personal vendettas against the Evil Queen. No one plotting to end the world. And with both Rumpelstiltskin and King George dead at last, no one constantly trying to usurp power.

With the amount of loving family, both biological and chosen, around Hope at any given moment, Regina is hard pressed to think of a safer place in the universe for her daughter to grow up.

The thoughts still come. No matter how unlikely and unwanted. Her mind twists her memories to best suit its purposes.

Her small trowel drops to the freshly dug earth around her knees. She gasps. The images, like a movie in a theater, are new this time. A kindly old man’s face contorted into a sneer as he drags Hope, screaming, through a bright green portal.

Until this afternoon, Regina has only seen that old man a handful of times, at town hall meetings and mandatory gatherings for the parents and guardians of Hope’s class. Now she knows him as Mr. Meacham, and has left her daughter in his care for the night. The little girl is going to her first ever slumber party away from family for her friend’s birthday.

The image is vivid and life-like as it loops through her head, unending, leaving her frozen to the spot in her garden. If she had ever shown prophetic powers, she would assume she was having a vision. Knowing she doesn’t have the sight does little to lessen the panic it creates.

She grasps onto the words Emma had spoken to reassure her before.

“The Meachams are a good family,” she had said earlier that week, after noticing the uptick in Regina’s anxiety. “Eion came over from a few realms away after Marco retired and both his grandkids are in Hope’s class. They’re very sweet to her. You’d like them, I think.”

Emma will be surprised to learn that the thought of being unaware of so much going on in her daughter’s life does little to ease Regina’s fears. The thought passes and Regina can hear the snide remark, cutting and bitter on her tongue. 

It gives her a moment to breathe though.

She hadn’t even been aware she was hyperventilating. The small space Emma’s words provide is enough. She slowly takes deeper and deeper breaths. Slowly, she feels like she’s reentering her body.

She grunts, her body heavy with returned feeling. The earth in warm under her hands. She runs her fingers through the soil, clenches it in her fists, heedless of the mess. The rough, damp warmth grounds her.

She has been getting better. Better than she ever would have imagined. Learning to cope and heal. 

A few years ago, Archie referred her to a new therapist - a woman from a neighboring realm - and she had helped in ways Regina hadn’t even known possible. And now all that work is down the drain over a silly children’s party.

She knows better than most that healing is full of ups and downs. The idea is lodged firmly in her head, no matter how often she rolls her eyes at it whenever it is uttered aloud. That she is once again stuck in a down is infuriating. She wants to scream and lash out at it. At herself and her incompetence.

There isn't much time to wallow in self flagellation. A small whimper comes from behind her, and before Regina can react, a cold, wet nose is pressing against her arm. She jumps with a start, then rolls her eyes at being so easily frightened, turning to look at the sneak who had crept up on her. In all her panic over Hope, she forgot she had let the dogs out to join her as she gardened.

Regina wipes her hands in the grass as best she can, then gives the sleek brown pit bull a good scratch behind the ears.

"Thank you, Leia," Regina coos. "You're such a good girl, making sure I'm alright."

(They had gotten a few animals since Emma and Hope moved into the mansion with her, and the theme of the names is still hotly debated amongst the family. Well, perhaps it is more accurate to say that Henry likes to whine about it - and the injustice of Regina finally allowing pets in her home after he no longer lived there - whenever he comes over. Emma was amused at Regina's choice in names for their first dog, reminding Regina about her time traveling mishap and run in with the Evil Queen. Over the past few years, she has taken to calling Leia "The General." 

Henry has remained stubbornly set against naming pets after fictional characters.

"But Mom!" he'd said, horrified, when Regina had introduced him to her new dog five years ago. "They could all exist here now, somewhere! What if Princess Leia came to visit? It would be so embarrassing!")

She nuzzles her face into Leia's side, letting the dog's scent and smooth coat soothe her a bit more. Leia has always amazed Regina with her patience when dealing with her adopted family. Years of being there for Regina like this, of Emma's rough housing, even a couple of years where toddler Hope thought riding on her back was the most wonderful thing in the world, and Leia has shouldered it all with grace and dignity.

It turns out that Regina is a master at finding the most suitable names for her pets.

Which certainly holds true with the large, shaggy brown mutt who bounds his way over to Regina and Leia from behind a hedge near the back gate.

"There you are, Chewie," Regina says. She even manages a bark of laughter as the dog licks the side of her face in his enthusiastic greeting. "I was wondering where you'd gotten to. Getting into the garbage again, no doubt. I'll make Emma and Hope give you a bath this week."

She doesn't dare sniff him like she does with Leia, having learned that lesson early on. Chewie is the newest member of the family and still gets into far too much mischief with all the space he has to roam. It turns out though, that he's good at following Leia's lead; he calms down quickly when Regina is in no mood to deal with rambunctious, overgrown puppies.

The three of them settle down, Regina's head on Leia's chest and her hand deep in Chewie's fur. She closes her eyes. For the first time in several days, she's not met with stressful or nightmarish images behind her eyelids. It's a blessing.

Of course, it also only lasts for about ten minutes. Soon enough, Regina hears the all too familiar creak of an ancient pick up truck pulling into her driveway. She lets out her most long suffering groan. Of all the people she least wanted to deal with today, the Charmings are very near the top, as they often are. Snow likes to invite herself over and always finds a way to impart some kind of 'helpful' parenting advice. Regina rolls her eyes at the very thought! She has made her peace with the woman, come to terms with them being family again. There are even times when they get along, as much as it always catches her off guard. But the thought of having to deal with Snow White today of all days makes her heart race.

"Grandma!"

Regina's head snaps up at the word. That's certainly not the voice she was dreading to hear come out of that old scrap of metal.

Chewie lets out a howl before tripping over himself in his haste to get to Lucy. Leia, of course, stays right where she is, though her tail begins to beat on the ground.

The excitement at seeing her furry friends radiates off Lucy, and Regina can't help but smile widely at it. The girl has always had a contagious optimism unlike anything Regina was familiar with, and at seventeen, it hasn't diminished. More than once, Emma has expressed relief that she doesn't seem to have the same kind of optimism as Snow. Regina would like to think it's the Mills pragmatism.

"Hi, Grandma," Lucy says, standing over Regina.

She offers Regina a hand, and Regina takes it, though not without wrinkling her nose in distaste.

"I'm not that old yet," she says as Lucy helps her off the ground. She groans as her knee pops, but Lucy is wise enough to stay silent.

Emma, on the other hand, chooses that moment to finally step out of the truck. And she has never learned when not to comment in all the years they have known each other. It might be one of the reasons Regina is so fond of her.

"Was that your bad knee I heard all the way over here?"

Regina snarls a bit, in no mood to take Emma's mocking, as harmless as it may be. What she doesn't expect is Emma's little half smile of understanding in response. She feels herself relax at that, lets herself be pulled into a hug by her granddaughter.

Then Emma is bounding across the garden, eerily similar to Chewie, to peck her on the lips and ruffle Lucy's curls.

"I still can't believe your Mama let you talk her into this," she says, though she's eyeing the undercut with appreciation.

Lucy snorts. "Please, Auntie Tiana was the one who talked her down  _ after _ I got it. I knew Ruby would love it, so I didn't have to worry about getting in trouble at work. And Danny had a mohawk last semester, so if they try to get me in trouble at school, I can kick up a fuss. Auntie Tiana says it's a good skill to have, so as long as I do the upkeep so it doesn't turn into a mess, Mama has allowed it."

It's clearly rehearsed. No doubt it was used on Snow when she inevitably freaked out upon seeing Lucy's new rebellious hairstyle for the first time. It gives Regina's imagination a very pleasing distraction.

"May I?" she asks, holding out her hand.

"Oh! Of course," Lucy says, holding her hair aside so Regina can touch the newly buzzed bit.

It is delightfully fuzzy. The sensation not unlike petting Leia's fur. She finds herself rethinking her stance on the desire Emma has expressed every few months since she turned forty to do something drastic with her own hair. It could be nice to pet her hair as the cuddled. And even more enjoyable to see Snow White pout whenever they crossed paths. She smirks at the thought and decides she'll give it more thought the next time Emma brings it up.

"It's very nice, dear," she says. Lucy beams.

"Okay, okay, everyone inside," Emma says, checking her watch. That's all it takes for Lucy to run off into the house, the dogs at her heels. Regina gives Emma a skeptical look. "You'll probably want to shower and put on something a little warmer. It's already passed seven, but a quick one shouldn't delay us too much, and I know you'll be uncomfortable if you don't."

"A shower? Delay? Emma, what's going on?"

"I'm taking you on a date, my love," Emma says. She smiles, pulling Regina into a hug and presses a long kiss to her jaw. Regina finds herself melting at the touch before Emma pulls away. "And I'd really like to get there before sunset."

"A date?" Regina is only becoming more confused. She's certainly not against the idea, but it's hardly what she expected when that truck pulled up. "Why is Lucy here?"

"To watch the dogs," Emma says, as if it was obvious. "And she wanted an evening away from her parents. Apparently Grandma's house is a much cooler place to be as a teenager. Who knew!"

"And why do you have your parents' truck?" 

It's the question that's been bothering Regina for the last several minutes. Emma rolls her eyes.

"So many questions! No time!" she says, shooing Regina into the house. "Go shower! Go, go, go!"

Regina can't help the laughter that finds its way out of her as she finally gives into Emma's ridiculous demands.

* * *

"Is driving really necessary?" Regina asks as they drive past the last shop outside of downtown and head into increasingly wooded area. The truck seems to find every pothole and imperfection in the road and amplify it into each of the joints in her body, which have decided that perhaps an afternoon in the garden was a little too ambitious. Not even the dreaded bug was this bad. "And are you still holding to your silence on this asinine decision to use your parents' ancient truck when we have two perfectly serviceable vehicles of our own?"

Emma smirks again. It's impossibly more smug than the last time Regina asked.

"The journey is an important part of this," Emma says. Her eyes glint with eagerness that reminds Regina of so many years ago and adventure and flirting and falling helplessly in love with the woman she never thought would ever feel the same way. "Trust me."

The smile that Regina can't help at these words feels freer than it has in weeks.

"I do," she says.

She takes Emma's hand in hers and brings it up to kiss her knuckles. Without taking her eyes off the road, Emma's smirk turns into a grin.

It doesn't last long. Emma needs her hand back to change gears. Regina goes back to looking out the window and wincing at each little pain in her body as the road gets rougher. After so many decades in that office in town hall, her mind turns toward the paperwork she needs to fill out on Monday to get a crew out here and all the other infrastructure projects she should try to push through now that the council has finally let her raise taxes on the nobility. It's something Tiana has been trying to do since coming to Storybrooke, but until recently, Regina had never expected much to come of it. Not with so much of the old blood from the Enchanted Forest still running things. With this new, younger majority on the council however...

"Stop thinking about work," Emma says.

And embarrassed warmth spreads up Regina's neck because Emma still has her eyes firmly in front of her. How could she possibly know?

"The tapping was getting pretty loud," Emma says, motioning with her head where Regina's fingers are still tapping against the plastic panel below the window without her permission. Regina's mouth remains open, her question still unasked, and Emma's grin widens with pride at knowing she has read Regina so easily. Damn her. Regina frowns and moves her hand down to her lap, clasping it with the other to keep it from giving her away again. "You only ever do that in meetings when someone you don't like much is talking. Or when you're up far too late in your study working on something."

"Hmm." Regina can't think of anything to say to that level of insight. It's a little unnerving, even coming from the one person she knows she can trust with that kind of knowledge. 

A comforting hand on her knee lets her body relax.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just -" Emma shrugs, takes her hand back - "I was hoping we could have as work-free an evening as possible. Everything is always work and kids and the town. And I love it! But it could be nice sometimes, you know? To be just us, without all that?"

Regina snorts. "Are you sure we even exist without all that?"

"Exactly!" Emma hits the steering wheel to emphasize her point. "It has to be more healthy to take a step back every once in a while, right?"

Taking a deep breath, Regina nods.

"I suppose you're right."

"If only I could've gotten that on video," Emma says. She leans back in her seat, basking in being correct.

"Oh, don't give me that," Regina says with a huff. "We're hardly one of  _ those _ couples. I agree with your ridiculous ideas at least once a week."

Not long after, they're turning off onto a poorly kept side road. Regina squints into the dimming light that barely makes it through the dense trees around them, gritting her teeth at the now constant vibration of tires over unpaved road. She isn't sure what she expected when the truck finally comes to a stop, but she gasps. The trees open up into a beautiful clearing full of wildflowers and fireflies that flash in and out of bushes along the treeline. The sound of rushing water catches her attention the instant she opens her door. 

So Emma has brought her to the river that edges along the outskirts of town on its way to the ocean. She told Emma years and years ago how much she loves this river, which provides a number of secluded spaces along its banks where Regina has gone throughout the years to escape. Until Henry's arrival, Regina disappearing from town for a few hours here and there was hardly noticed by the people she was trapped with. With Henry, many of them became places to go together. And now Emma has discovered a new place that Regina hadn't managed to find in all her years in this town.

"It's beautiful." It comes out in a breath, barely there. The sun is setting through the trees beyond the water, turning the sky spectacular pinks and oranges, and tinging the hazy summer air with gold. It's almost too much to take in.

"Good," Emma says, coming up beside her. Regina turns to wrap her arms tightly around Emma's shoulders. "I was really hoping you'd like it here."

"Thank you, darling. It's perfect."

As much as Regina would like to stay wrapped up together in the warmth of the sunset forever, Emma steps back and extends her hand towards an edge of the forest that Regina hadn't noticed. There is a picnic blanket set out, under a group of branches that are strewn with fairylights. There are large pillows and a picnic basket, a couple bottles of wine. Regina nudges Emma in the side when she sees her fancy plates sitting out in the open.

"You better be careful with those," she chides.

"It's a special occasion," Emma laughs. She takes Regina's hand, kissing it. "Your dinner awaits, my Queen."

* * *

And dinner is delicious. A light pasta with chicken and late summer vegetables. It’s delightfully seasoned, making Regina smirk around a mouthful. All these years of Emma playing at being her sous chef appear to be paying off. Not that Emma has ever been a slouch around the kitchen, but there had been a number of arguments over what constituted seasoning those first couple of years living together.

They eat mostly in silence, the noises of them enjoying their meal still audible over the river several feet away. 

Regina had been too far into her own head to notice the uncomfortable heat in her garden. The cooling breeze coming off the running water and the darkening sky make her recognize that the heat from the relentless summer afternoon sun did little to ease her misery, no matter how much she loved to garden as stress relief. Now, drinking a chilled dry ros é that paired beautifully with their meal, watching the fireflies flit about in the dying light while Emma sits close, clearly enjoying the sight of her wife relaxing into their evening together -- it all has Regina feeling like herself again.

She tells Emma so, and the smile that lights up Emma face is worth everything.

The stars are fully out by the time Emma reveals their dessert, but the almost full moon and the fairylights strung around them provide a surprising amount of light. Certainly enough light for Emma to watch the way Regina’s face softens into bliss as she takes her first bite.

She moans, the light sweetness of the spongy cake and homemade whipped cream mixing with the tartness of strawberries on her tongue. Exactly how she prefers it.

Her eyes flash open and she grins.

“You really made all of this, didn’t you?” she says, sure that few would know her preference for desserts like Emma. Or even how much she enjoys a good strawberry shortcake in the summer. “It’s very good, darling.”

“I’ll have you know, I’m getting much better at baking,” Emma says, practically preening at the compliment. “Lucy did help a bit.”

“That girl really knows her way around a kitchen.” Regina smiles at the thought, knowing that her love of cooking for her family has made it to another generation. Growing up in a family of cooks and bakers like hers, it was hardly unexpected.

“She reminds me of you in the kitchen!” Emma laughs, then grins when Regina narrows her eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That I had to fight to stay in charge of things.” She laughs again, popping another strawberry into her mouth. “She kept wanting to take over whenever she worried I was doing something wrong.”

Regina smiles with pride at the thought of her granddaughter, but also at Emma. Sticking up for herself in these situations has always been a struggle for Emma, and Regina has watched her constantly work at it over the years. Just like Regina, Emma will always have doubts that she truly belongs in a family like this, though their reasons for those doubts might be different.

“You did a wonderful job. I’ve loved every bite.”

They’re almost finished when Regina catches Emma watching her; eyes lingering around the top of Regina’s head, a small smile on her lips.

“What?” Regina asks. She wipes around her mouth self consciously, worried she might have any variety of sugary substances stuck to her. Not that her lips are where Emma is looking. She’s very familiar with how it feels to have Emma staring at her lips.

“Huh?”

Emma is clearly in a daze. Regina raises an eyebrow at her, which seems to do the trick. Now she’s blushing and staring down at her own dessert.

“So you do know you were staring then.”

A little laugh. A shrug of her shoulders. Then Emma is leaning the short way across their picnic, her smile broader.

“It’s just -” she reaches her (hopefully clean) fingers towards Regina’s hair, tucking a loose strand behind her ear and running her fingers along the side of her head, from temple back to where a hair tie gathers her long, curling hair into a ponytail. Regina leans into the hand, feels herself melt at the touch - “you’re finally letting your grey hair show.”

A scoff. The lights around them might be enough to eat by, but Regina is sure Emma can barely make out the difference in hair color. There is no way she can see the slight contrast of silvery grey in Regina’s dark hair. The feathery streaks or how it’s beginning to peek out at the roots of her part. She doesn’t have that much of it at this point, surely.

“I’ve been too busy to go to the hair dressers, is all.”

She pulls herself away from Emma’s touch. The way Emma’s lips turn into a pout, as if she might be hurt at the loss of contact, causes the dairy to curdle uncomfortably in Regina’s gut. She wishes she could take it back. But the hand has already disappeared back to Emma’s lap. Emma securely back in her own space, suddenly so much further away than Regina remembers.

She wants to apologize, though she’s not entirely sure what for. She carries on instead. It’s always so easy to carry on instead. To forget hurting Emma’s feelings. Forget how she doesn’t deserve her. “I’ll text my assistant tomorrow about making an appointment. I’m sure there’s room in my schedule somewhere. Or I’ll skip lunch one day -”

“No!” Emma cuts in, then seems to fold in on herself. “I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry I brought it up. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad about yourself. I just wanted you to know that I like it like this. I love it really. It suits you.”

It’s the way Emma gets more confident the longer she talks more than the worlds themselves that makes Regina’s heart flutter.

“Really?”

“Oh my god, yes! It’s so um -” Emma takes a bit of cake to cover up her words, but Regina still hears them clearly - “it’s so hot.”

Regina giggles. Though only in part at the words and the heat they send coursing through her. Of course, Emma has managed to get whipped cream on her nose.

Light eyes go wide and darken as Regina leans across the space between them, suddenly so small again, to deal with Emma’s food mishap. She lets out a squeak as Regina’s finger brushes the top of her nose to collect the cream. As she moves away to bring it to her own mouth, Emma finally gets ahold of herself enough to catch Regina’s hand. She wraps her lips around Regina’s finger, slowly licking the whipped cream away with her tongue.

Regina gasps at the feeling. The very sight of Emma doing this has her feeling things she hasn’t felt in far too long.

“You’re really fucking hot,” Emma says after Regina has taken her hand back.

Neither of them seem to know what to do with the situation they’ve made for themselves. Regina is struck silent, and that silence knocks Emma off her confidence. Something about it only increases Regina’s desire to kiss her silly.

Of course, talking has long been Emma’s way of dealing with her nerves.

“So I know I was pretty forceful with that ‘no’ when you said you would get your hair dyed,” Emma says, her eyes darting around to avoid resting on Regina’s face. “And I totally stand by you being insanely attractive with those grey streaks. Like, damn! Women age so beautifully but we’re rarely allowed to, you know? Society wants us to look forever like we’re in our twenties and it’s such bullshit! But also, if dying your hair makes you feel more comfortable or better about yourself or whatever, you totally should. I’m really sorry if I came off as trying to dictate your choices because I super never want to do that and -”

“Emma.” Regina says her name calmly, almost in a whisper. She can’t help the smirk that comes at Emma’s instant reaction; clamping her mouth shut and sitting up straighter than Regina has ever seen her.

“Yes?”

“Are you done with your food?”

The only answer is a nod.

With a flick of her wrist, the remains of their lovely dinner are put safely away in the fridge at home.

“Everything this evening has been incredibly sweet and you are the most wonderful wife in all the realms,” Regina says, leaning forward, putting her weight on her hands to tip herself closer to Emma, letting her eyes linger on Emma’s lips. “But I think it’s time I kissed you to keep you from talking.”

“Is shutting me up the only reason you wanna kiss me?”

Their smirks match. It makes Regina’s desire to kiss her burn brighter than ever.

“Well, it is a major bonus, but I’ve been wishing I could do it for a while now.”

Before Regina can finish her movement forward, Emma’s lips are on hers. She melts into Emma’s touch. Gentle hands brush against her cheeks, her jaw, her neck. Touching every bit of skin they can find.

A hand moving down her chest warms her skin, warms right through her, though she can’t remember feeling a chill earlier. She whimpers as Emma’s touch consumes her; that warmth enveloping her like magic, like Emma is touching her everywhere at once.

It is not a new experience, but it is one she will never grow tired of, even if she and Emma find a way to live forever. Emma’s warm hands touching her with love and passion and tenderness. It’s up there with seeing Henry grown and happy and smiling at her. Or watching Lucy and Hope and Little Robin running around the yard with the dogs, giggling uncontrollably. Or any of her children hugging her and saying how much they love her.

The sweetness of Emma’s lips pulls her in. It pulls her in quicker, deeper, than the darkest magics she has clung to. She wants to hold onto each second of this, no matter how fleeting it may be.

How often has she tasted sugar and cinnamon and chocolate there? Emma has always been over eager to show her thanks for a baked treat with kisses. The tang of the strawberries comes out in contrast and the need to explore this new taste on Emma’s lips isn’t something she wants to fight.

She sucks Emma’s bottom lip into her mouth, savoring the flavor. Savoring the way Emma’s grip on her tightens as she pushes closer. She revels in Emma melting into her as her tongue swipes the lip between her teeth.

Smirking as she tastes an extra hint of sweetness, Regina lets go of Emma’s lip to lick the spot of whipped cream that has somehow managed to stay just above her mouth. It causes Emma to fall into a bout of giggles, breaking the kiss.

“Wow,” Emma says, swooning back on the blanket to catch her breath. “That was… Wow. I can’t remember the last time we did anything more than a peck on the lips before bed.”

Regina smiles in agreement. But she feels a piece of her heart break.

* * *

Listening to the sounds of Emma cleaning up the campsite, the song she sings to herself mostly overpowered by the swift water flowing by, Regina wraps her arms around herself. It’s surprisingly chilly for the middle of August, and she hadn’t felt the chill like this while they ate their meal. The air is cooler this close to the water, she supposes.

They must be at a deeper section of the creek. The surface is smoother than she’s seen in other areas. It gives the moonlight something to reflect off of, and she gets lost in watching the way the image distorts, as if on a broken mirror. Scattered pieces of light ungulate and dance in the current that passes under them.

It’s beautiful. The whole night has been perfect. And Emma had known how much she needed this. A quiet night just for them, away from everything. A few hours where Regina can be present here with the love of her life, instead of lost in her head.

But sitting here alone, next to this tranquil creek, the dancing moonlight drawing her into a trance, she’s helpless against the ever swirling thoughts that rise up and pull her under. Emma’s words circle obsessively through her. Slowly, at first. Without her noticing. Until they become impossible to ignore.

_ “I can’t remember the last time we did anything more than a peck on the lips before bed.” _

It isn’t meant as more than an offhanded comment made in the daze of post-kissing bliss. Regina knows this. Emma would never guilt Regina into any kind of intimacy. 

But it’s not the possibility that Emma might do such a thing that has Regina breaking apart. It’s how she wishes it wasn’t true, but can never seem to find a way to fix it. It’s how it stacks neatly at the top of the pile of reasons that prove Regina is failing her family. It’s the cherry on top of a hellish week, and a day she would give almost anything to do over.

She’d known for ages that the days leading up to Hope’s sleepover would be bumpy for her. She’d tried her best to prepare for it, but as the week progressed, Regina’s temper grew shorter and shorter. Uncontrollable rage filling her against her will. Despite her years of learning how to cope in healthier ways, certain things always seemed to trigger it no matter what she did. Certain anxieties.

She is well aware of the cause, had been even as it built up inside her. The fear and anger, the knowledge that everything was beyond her control. It perfectly mirrored what she’d gone through two summers ago. 

Hope’s first day of school.

Her baby had another first that she couldn’t be a part of that day - a crisis calling her to a distant border dispute meaning she couldn’t even cook her daughter a special breakfast, let alone walk her to the school doors. And the anxiety of that had her lashing out.

She doesn’t care much when the victim of her rage is some hapless Storybrooke citizen who passes by too close leaving Granny’s. Or the nobles she knocks heads with every other day. And she still gets a sick sort of pleasure when Snow’s clumsy missteps earn her a lecture that’s possibly more heated than necessary.

But she crossed a line this morning. One she has spent most of the day regretting, whenever her anxiety over Hope’s sleepover gave her a moment to think about anything else.

The words ring through her now, as clear as they had hours ago when she said them.

_ “You’re working? You specifically scheduled yourself to work on a day you knew I needed you here? We were supposed to spend the day as a family before dropping Hope off together and it what, slipped your mind?” She seethed, vicious, not thinking about what Hope might be able to hear from the other room, not caring about the apology Emma was trying to stammer out. “No, just leave. Go play Savior, since the town is apparently so much more important than the family you don’t seem to care about any more. I’m sure we’ll manage just fine without you.” _

She wants to cry. She wants to scream and throw things at the moon that continues to dance slowly on the water, mocking her as she breaks to pieces feet away.

How can Emma even look at her?

Emma sits down next to her and Regina flinches. 

Her approach had gone completely unnoticed despite Emma being one of the least stealthy people Regina knows even when she’s trying. No doubt her booted steps had been heavy and full of breaking twigs and kicked rocks and possibly Emma tripping over her own feet. Regina heard none of it.

“Sorry,” Emma mutters.

There’s a noticeable space between them that Emma always keeps when Regina is jumpy. She is at once grateful and annoyed by it. No one before has ever been so thoughtful of Regina’s physical boundaries. Still, she dislikes Emma thinking she needs to be handled so delicately over such miniscule things.

Nevermind that she feels like a quickly burning fuse to a very large bundle of dynamite and can probably do with some extra space.

She takes a deep breath. With her eyes still watching the light reflect in the water, she lays a hand on Emma’s thigh. She takes in the texture of the denim, letting it and Emma’s warmth ground her.

“I’m fine,” she says. “Just got lost in my head.”

“Anything you need to talk about?”

Emma scoots closer immediately. Unfolding the blanket she brought with her, she wraps it around them both, her arm wrapping around Regina’s shoulder with it. The touch has Regina erasing those remaining inches between them, until they’re pressed up against each other’s sides. It takes seconds for Emma’s bodyheat to seep into her, held in by the blanket. She feels safe again in that moment; grounded and loved and present.

She lets her head drop to Emma’s shoulder and nods. She knows she needs to talk. She wants to get these thoughts outside of herself. 

There is no one like Emma who can tell what she’s thinking, what she needs, without her needing to say much of anything, but there’s no way even Emma can know all the things going through her head. And Regina needs her to know about them, no matter what comes of it.

There’s so much of it, she isn’t sure where to start. Which Emma seems to get, rearranging herself so Regina settles against her more comfortably. The hand stroking her hair has Regina sighing, trying her hardest to keep her tears at bay a little while longer. It’s a difficult task as she and Emma sit quietly, watching the moonlight dance together.

“I’ve been such a mess lately,” Regina says in a whisper. After several minutes under the comfort of Emma’s arm, she is feeling calm again. Calm enough to say what she needs Emma to hear, though the words want to remain stuck in her throat. “I’ve been stressed and anxious and overthinking every little thing. And you’ve been putting up with all of it. You’re there when I can’t be, doing all this extra work to make sure Hope has everything she needs.”

“I’m not ‘putting up’ with anything!” Emma sounds dismayed that Regina could even think such a thing. “You know I’m happy keeping the house in order while you’re swamped with work or off with your Queen of the Realms duties. We’re partners, it’s not a big deal.”

“But it is, Emma! It’s a huge deal, and I hate that you’re stuck with it,” Regina says. She knows they often talk past each other in instances like this. She knows she’s not saying what she truly means, so she gives herself a moment, sits up straighter to give herself the space to think. “It’s not even about what you have to do, not really. It’s that I’m not there with you and I  _ want  _ to be. And when I am there, lately, I don’t treat you how you deserve. It’s about how I’m constantly taking my anxieties and worries about my self worth out on you. Emma, I -”

Emma’s eyes are screaming out how desperately she wants to disagree, but she knows that’s not what Regina needs to hear right now. She swallows back the words, Regina can see the lump they form in her throat.

“I’m so sorry. The things I said to you this morning, Emma.” Regina chokes out the words. Emma’s name sticks a little more with each uttering, as if it’s too good for Regina’s lips. “They were unforgivable. Even if you knew I didn’t mean them, you should never, ever have to hear those words from me.”

Emma closes her eyes and nods slowly. A tear seeps out as her eyelids clench shut.

“And then,” Regina continues. Her voice breaks slightly. “And then you go and give me the most wonderful night. I’m going to remember this for the rest of my life. Even if I’ve done nothing to deserve it.”

Emma’s eyes fly open at that and she grabs Regina’s hands. She squeezes them as she turns to face Regina fully.

“Hey, hey, hey! I don’t know what you think tonight is about,” Emma says, her voice rough. Thick. It’s fierce in a way Regina isn’t expecting. “But it’s not about what you’ve done to earn time with me. And it’s certainly not some sick way of letting you down gently. I’m your wife! I love you more than anything. I’m always gonna want to do nice things for you, no matter what. Understand?

“And yeah, things have been not that great lately. The things you said this morning hurt. A lot,” she says, her voice softening. Then she gives Regina one of those goofy, self-deprecating half smiles. “I also probably could have handled this entire situation a lot better, since I knew how stressed out you were. It’s not an excuse for either of us, but like, we’re just people Regina!” 

She lets go of Regina’s hands to stroke Regina’s cheek and Regina smiles into the touch. “We’re gonna fuck shit up from time to time. Then we talk about how we fucked up and we work on it and we do better. Like we always have, yeah?”

“Yeah, we do,” Regina whispers.

“And please, no one deserves an evening out with their wife where no one can barge in on them as much as you do,” Emma says. She pulls Regina in to kiss her forehead and keeps her there for a good long while. “I always hated the savior gig and how much everyone expected from me. It’s like everyone sees you as some kind of all powerful, benevolent deity. Which is maybe better than thinking you’re evil and wanting you dead, but honestly, I think it’s a bit of a draw at this point.”

Regina chuckles before pressing their lips together in a long, chaste kiss. She knows that words could never say how grateful she is to have Emma in her life, but maybe this will do. If only she could pour all the love and joy and hope that she feels back into Emma this way, then maybe she can express what she can’t find the words for.

“I’m sorry about this morning,” Regina says again. She doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to say it enough. But as Emma settles back into her side and wraps the blanket around them again, she knows she’s forgiven. “I never, ever want you to think you don’t have a place in this family. You make us whole, Emma. Making a family with you is the greatest thing I’ve ever done with my life.”

She hears Emma sniffle, but it’s quickly covered with a laugh.

“Even if it means having to deal with my mother constantly?” Emma teases. Regina can hear the grin in her voice. “Without making it obvious that you still plot her doom at least once a month?”

Regina holds in the snort that wants to come out on instinct, playing up how much thought such an idea needs. That it’s worth even a second. A nudge from Emma is enough to send laughter barrelling out of her.

“Even if your mother continues to be one of the most irritating people I’ve come across in all the realms,” she says, straight-faced. “It’s still a small price to pay for your company.”

“My company, huh?”

“Mmm, your delightful, sexy company,” Regina says. She kisses up Emma’s neck, enjoying each gasp and shiver. “In fact, most of the time, whenever your mother is tempting me to homicide, I let myself think about all the wonderful, sexy time I spend with her daughter, and it vastly improves my day.”

“Oh, god!” Emma says, and Regina can’t tell if it’s outrage at how Regina deals with her mother, or because Regina ends her statement by biting Emma’s earlobe. “Please say you’ve never told her.”

“Mrs Swan-Mills!” Regina is aghast at the very idea. Which can be seen clearly through her most devious smirk. “I would never dream of sharing all the sordid details of what goes on in our bedroom with your mother. Or any of the things we might get up to in the kitchen, or the living room, or the study. Or my office…”

“Or that one time in the patrol car?” Emma suggests, always so helpful.

“Certainly not, dear! Though that was much more fun than I’d expected. Maybe we should do that again.”

“As long as we find a better position, so my wrist doesn’t get a cramp this time.”

“Poor darling,” Regina says. She pouts to match Emma’s as she brings said wrist up to kiss. 

Emma giggles as Regina continues to kiss along her wrist. Finally tired of Regina’s teasing, she uses the hand Regina is kissing to lift her face up, kissing her deeply.

“God, I love you,” she says against Regina’s lips.

“I love you so much.” Regina kisses her once more before pulling away to smile at her. “It’s beautiful here, and so peaceful. It’s exactly what I needed. Thank you, Emma.”

“I’m glad. Dad brought me here once, to try to get me into fishing. It didn’t really stick,” Emma says, wrinkling her nose. No doubt at the thought of fish guts. “But I really enjoyed being here, getting to have that quiet with him. I used to come here during, you know…  _ those  _ years.”

And Regina does know. The years after Emma’s first wedding. The years they don’t talk about, but probably should, when Emma closed herself off from everyone else. When she and Regina didn’t know how to be in the same room together, and Regina tried to pretend she didn’t care.

“And then, after you left to help Henry, I came here even more. I started imagining you coming here with me.” The sad, wistful smile Emma gives her takes her breath away. “It kind of helped me realize what I really wanted from life, you know? Sorry it took seven years to finally bring you here.”

“Waiting years to do the things we really want is sort of our thing.”

“I guess.”

Regina can tell she’s thinking of all the wasted time where they could have been together. She can tell because she does it far too often.

“We’re here now, and it’s wonderful. That’s what matters to me.”

Emma smiles at her and nods. But Regina can’t help but think it’s her fault. That if she wasn’t always doing a hundred things instead of making time for her family, that she wants to have with them more than anything, Emma would have brought her here years ago.

“You’re doing the bad thoughts again,” Emma whispers.

Regina doesn’t need to answer. There’s no use denying it at this point. She just leans more heavily against her, looking up at the stars. A star streaks through the sky and she doesn’t feel silly wishing on it. It’s the perfect kind of night for wishing on falling stars.

Another streak of light cuts through the darkness a few seconds later. She’s about to suggest Emma should make a wish too when another goes by. And another. And another.

She gasps.

“Emma.” It’s barely a whisper as she searches for Emma’s hand with her eyes still glued to the sky.

She had forgotten.

But Emma hadn’t.

“Yeah,” she says. Her lips are smiling when she kisses Regina’s cheek. “It’s the Perseids.”

* * *

Regina watches the sky in awe, meteors sailing above her everywhere she can look. The only things keeping her connected to the earth are Emma’s thumb tracing circles on her hand and the pain in her back that she’s doing her best to ignore.

She’s not the little girl who fell in love with this meteor shower long ago in another world, her aching body is proof of that. Tonight she feels the same wonder she had then. Laying out under the stars with her father, a day’s ride away from Cora. Sprawled out on top of their horse blankets, she had understood little of the Perseids beyond the beauty and freedom they provided her. By the time she was forced to move to the White castle, they had become so much more than that. But they had remained a symbol of freedom beyond all else as it was one of the few times a year Leopold gave her permission to leave the castle without him or Snow. Of course, even that ceased as his jealousy and need to control her grew.

She thought she had lost them forever in the ever repeating day of the curse. But then, as the end of her seventeenth year in Storybrooke neared, they appeared again. The next morning she got a call from Boston, that there was a baby boy waiting for her to adopt him.

Emma has known all of this since the first time she watched them by Regina’s side, cuddled close in their backyard.

And Emma remembered.

She isn’t sure if Emma knows how much this means to her, but she promises she’ll find a way to thank her for it.

She hisses. A spasm shoots through her back as she cranes her head back in an attempt to watch the sky behind her. It’s not the first time it’s happened since they laid back on the bank of the creek. Unlike the other times, Emma doesn’t let her wave it off as nothing.

“This has been fun, but I think we’re getting a little too old to spend the night on the ground like this,” Emma says, smirking at her as she rolls onto her hands and knees.

“We are not old,” Regina says.

“Sure.” Emma stands up slowly and stretches. Then she holds her hand out to help Regina up. “What do I get if more than ten of your joints pop as you stand up?”

“A night on the couch,” Regina grumbles and rolls her eyes. It only has Emma grinning down at her, triumphant. Regina takes her hand anyway.

“Oof.” Emma grimmices as Regina stands. The noise is no pleasant, Regina will admit. “That was at least thirteen distinct pops, by my count.”

She doesn’t know where Emma is leading them, but she follows behind without a fuss. And when Emma stops behind the truck and lowers the tailgate, she continues to hold her silence, though she does eye her wife cautiously.

Her eyes narrow and her hands go to her hips as Emma whips off the tarp covering the truck bed to reveal a fully blanketed mattress.

Blankets that she recognizes instantly.

“Is that the bed from the guest room?” she asks. There’s a bite in her voice and her eyebrow is at its peak.

Emma turns from her work of fluffing the pillows and turning down the blankets to smile sheepishly at Regina. 

“I figured we’d want something a bit more comfortable than dirt for our evening.”

“And your best idea was the very nice mattress we keep for guests? Why not use an air mattress?” Regina asks. But Emma gives her a knowing look, because the Regina she has known for so many years would never be satisfied with an air mattress.

“I cleaned the floor using magic before transporting the bed in, and there’s a tarp underneath it to be extra sure,” Emma says. She shuffles her feet on the tarp as proof and gives Regina a winning smile. Then says under her breath, “As if I would let Her Majesty recline on anything other than the second best mattress in Storybrooke. Please.”

Regina laughs and graciously accepts Emma’s help up into the truck bed. The moment both her feet are firmly beneath her, Emma spins her around, wrapping her arms around her tightly. She pulls Regina into a kiss that leaves her breathless.

“You’re going to love this, I promise.”

“I know I will. Thank you, darling,” Regina says.

“Anything for my Queen,” Emma says. She gives Regina one last kiss before they both sit on the bed to remove their shoes.

Regina is used to Emma using her various titles teasingly, but there was something serious in that declaration that leaves her feeling a little flushed. Being Queen again had been so far from her mind for years and years before Snow crowned her. And while the role is more about ceremony and tradition compared to her job as mayor, it has come with expectations and duties that she has never wanted to take on. In the last seven years, her love of small town politics has been overshadowed by the United Realm’s need for a unifying power.

It’s a power that has always felt unsteady on her shoulders. She hasn’t always been aware of it, caught up in the rush of it all, but tonight, merely the thought of going back to that on Monday morning exhausts her.

But what on earth can she do about it?

As she slips under the warm blankets, being drawn instantly into Emma’s arms, she decides that she won’t let it ruin the rest of her night. She has a celestial show to watch and a wonderful wife to snuggle with.

She takes breaks from observing the sky occasionally to watch Emma, to kiss Emma. To cuddle up into Emma’s chest and sigh happily as Emma plays with her hair. She points out constellations to Emma as she always does this night, knowing Emma will forget most of them by the next time they go stargazing. She loves sharing the stories her father told her along with the scientific facts that she learned with Henry as he grew, and Emma loves to hear them. Emma’s hand always follows her as she points out each star. Their laughter mixes with their soft voices.

Then suddenly, as Emma is wrapping one of Regina’s curls around her fingers, Regina whispers, “What if I quit?”

She can’t tell if she says it out loud, but Emma’s finger stills in Regina’s hair.

“Being Queen?” Emma asks after several seconds where the only sounds are their breathing and the distant creek.

Regina can only nod.

“I mean,” Emma starts. She takes a moment to shuffle around so they’re facing each other. Her lips are quirked up in a smile that Regina is almost confident enough to say contains excitement. “I don’t see why not? It’s the twenty-first century! Before I found out that I was an actual fairytale princess, I always thought monarchies were a load of bullshit. Which hasn’t really changed now that I’m part of one. They’re just a bunch of rich assholes not doing much.”

She stops, eyes wide, and hurries to correct herself. 

“Not to say you’re a rich asshole who doesn’t do anything. You do a lot!” Regina snorts at the implication, but doesn’t disagree. “But also you’ve been doing this for uh… a very, very long time. And no one should keep you from doing something else if that’s what you want. I certainly won’t!”

Her excited smile turns into a frown as she chews something over in her head.

“What is it?” Regina asks when it’s been long enough that she worries Emma won’t continue without prompting.

“I know the political situation is a bit of a mess, and there are several different forms of government with all these different places.” Emma pauses to bite her lip. “We can’t just spring democracy on everyone over night, right? That’d be some America during the Cold War level of bullshit.”

Regina grins at her, knowing she’s read some of the history texts Regina gave Ry when he first got here. Then she nods.

“That’s a lot of the work I’ve been doing as Queen, as someone who is familiar with the politics of this world. We’ve been working together to see what each realm needs to thrive here. It’s far from perfect, but I’d like to think some good is coming from it,” Regina says. “Me stepping down doesn’t mean all that suddenly changes. Others can step up as we continue to figure this whole, wild situation out.”

“Like Tiana,” Emma says.

“And Kathryn has been working with me on this, too. And I know both Henry and Ry have friends who are getting more involved now a lot of the Enchanted Forest’s politicians are finally retiring,” Regina says. Her smile is a little sad; this has been her life for so long. “Maybe it’s time for me to retire, too.”

Emma grasps both Regina’s hands in hers, holding her close and kissing her cheeks.

“That sounds like a good idea to me,” she says. “Retirement! I’m not sure I’m quite ready yet, but there’s so many things we could do.”

“I’m not sure what I want to do yet, beyond spending as much time as possible with you and Hope and Ry and Henry, and all his family.” Regina stops with a gasp. It’s been a while since she laid it all out like that. Really thought about how big her family has gotten. She feels tears prick at her eyes as she thinks of them all. “I have everything I ever wanted, back when I still believed in happily ever afters and true love.”

She never truly imagined it would happen. She doesn’t think she’ll ever stop being amazed by it.

“Except the farm,” Emma says. Because of course Emma has gotten her to spill all of her childhood dreams. The things she spent a lifetime hiding away from everyone. “We still don’t have a farm with sheep and horses and all the veggies so you never have to complain about the grocery store’s subpar produce selection again.”

“No, I suppose the farm dream has yet to be achieved.”

“We could always kick my parents out of the farmhouse,” she says. Regina chuckles. “I bet The General would love herding sheep! She’d be great at it. And I could learn how to sheer. Do you think my dad knows how to sheer sheep? He was a shepard, right? It might be forty years late, but that could still be a fun father daughter bonding activity.”

The fondness Regina feels as Emma rambles on is overwhelming. The meteor shower and the fate of the United Realms completely forgotten.

“You’ll probably injure yourself,” Regina says. She playfully nudges Emma’s legs with her feet. “I’m sure there are magical ways to sheer sheep which are far safer.”

Emma goes on as if Regina hadn’t made such an insulting interruption.

“Oh! What about the PTA?” She bounces on the bed in her excitement, startling Regina. “You would be the most badass PTA mom.”

“Or join the school board?”

Staying in small town politics and getting more involved in Hope’s education… Now there’s an idea that Regina will have to give some real thought. As much as she remains fond of the farm dream, her body might not agree.

“Oh yes! I can see you striding in there with your power suits. Going all Madam Mayor on their hoity toity noble asses.” Emma almost cackles, a wicked gleam in her eyes. “I might have to bribe someone to get video of it for me.”

“Those frumpy, stuck up soccer moms won’t know what hit them,” Regina says, joining in.

“I hate to break it to you, babe,” Emma says solemnly, petting Regina’s shoulder. “But you’re already a soccer mom. Hope said she wants to join the team once school starts back up.”

Regina throws her head back, feigning dramatics. Though part of her does shudder at the thought of becoming anything like Snow White.   
  
  


“Please, at least tell me I’m not frumpy.”   
  
  


“Absolutely. The best dressed, hottest soccer mom in all the lands!"

  
  
“Thank you, darling,” Regina says.

She doesn’t want to let on just how much she appreciates that Emma still sees her that way, after all these years. But the thank you is also for all the things Emma has done for her tonight and all the support she has shown. She brings her close for a kiss instead, caressing her face as she rolls on top of her. Showing Emma how much she cares has always worked best.

* * *

A ringing phone pulls Regina out of a surprisingly pleasant dream. It slips away from her even though she can’t seem to wake up enough to open her eyes. She hears movement through the room, drawers opening and closing, the rustling of clothes. Footsteps coming closer brings her further out of sleep and she mumbles, limbs and eyelids still heavy with exhaustion.

“Go back to sleep, hun,” Emma says. She leans close, brushing hair out of Regina’s face and kissing her temple. “I’ll be back soon.”

So she does, letting her pillow and warm blankets draw her back to her dreams.

It feels like only moments later when she’s woken again. This time much less pleasantly. There’s a cacophony of sound that jolts her off her pillow.

“Hope, your shoes!” is muffled from beyond her closed bedroom door and halfway across the house. Still, it gives context to the thumping coming up the stairs.

Regina has never been more glad that she hadn’t had much to drink the night before. She doesn’t want to imagine what this would be like with a hangover.

And with that thought, there’s a shriek the moment before the door bangs open. Hope comes barrelling in, running straight for the bed. She giggles as she jumps in. Regina can’t help join in the joyous laughter, her arms quick to scoop up her daughter and pull her close.

“Your Mama’s asleep!” comes another shout, getting closer. It’s far too late, of course, but Regina appreciates Emma’s attempt.

“Mama!” Hope shrieks again as Regina rains kisses all over her face and head and shoulders.

Emma is there a second later, panting for breath and holding herself up by the door frame. She chuckles as Regina catches her eye over their squirming child, both of them acknowledging that it has been a while since Emma had to chase anyone up a flight of stairs. Regina’s attention is quickly pulled back by Hope grabbing hold of her face in two little hands and planting a slobbery kiss on her cheek.

“I missed you!”

“You have?” Regina asks with poorly feigned surprise. She might be overselling it a bit, doing her best to cover her overwhelming relief at those words. Hope doesn’t notice, happy to let her mama busy herself with returning Hope’s kiss and making quick work of her shoes.

“It feels like I haven’t seen you in years and years, Mama.”

The pout that comes with that pronouncement melts Regina’s heart. She looks up at Emma again in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, but the sight of Emma watching them with a devoted smile only brings them closer to the surface. All she can do is pull her precious girl closer.

“Oh, I’ve missed you too, sweet girl.” She kisses the top of Hope’s head and presses her cheek into soft hair, lets all of her senses bask in Hope’s presence.

“For years and years?”

“You know what? You’re completely right, that’s exactly how long it felt,” she says. She holds Hope out in front of her, looking her over critically. “I think you do look a bit bigger than you did yesterday. Was there time travel at that party of yours?”

Hope giggles before leaning against Regina’s chest and settling in for snuggles. She even manages a few seconds of silence before she starts rambling about her sleepover adventures, leaving out any time travel that may have occurred. Their baby may have missed home, but that didn’t seem to stop her from having the time of her life. The ache that knowledge causes Regina is much less than she expected.

Emma takes that as her cue to join them. She sits on the bed at Regina’s feet and takes off her own shoes, which Regina hadn’t realized she was still wearing in all the commotion.

She raises an eyebrow at the offense, but Emma merely rolls her eyes in response. A silent conversation over their daughter’s ongoing monologue. It’s not as if Regina is actually annoyed that Emma broke protocol in her attempt to salvage her wife’s slumber, but the expectation of it amuses her. Having these little ways to bicker over meaningless things.

Still, she feels immense gratitude when Emma gets back up and grabs not only her shoes, but Hope’s as well, and sets them by the door to bring downstairs later.

“That sounds delicious, darling,” she says after Hope tells her all about the vast quantities of whipped cream and sprinkles she was allowed to put on her ice cream. “Did you brush your teeth before bed?”

“Of course, Mama.” Hope lets out a huff, annoyed that her mother would even question it.

“Good girl!”

As she watches Emma enter the bathroom, she plays with the little wisps of curls sticking out of Hope’s braids every which way. She’s glad she had convinced Hope to let her French braid it Friday night, knowing they’d be missing their usual Saturday night bath. Gods only know what a state it would be in now if she had gone to that party with it done like she had originally wanted. Today’s bath would have inevitably been full of tangles and knots and tears. Probably from both of them.

Though not her intention, playing with Hope’s hair seems to have a calming effect on her. It hasn’t stopped the chatter, but by the time Emma comes back into the room in a fresh pair of sleep shorts, Hope has slowed down considerably. 

Regina’s mouthed, “Thank you,” is meant for Emma neatening up the shoes, but she realizes she wants to thank her for so much more. For Emma being the one to pick Hope up from her friend’s, for her valiant attempt to let Regina get the sleep she needs, for everything she did the previous night. For being here right now, sharing all of this with Regina.

The proud, full smile that breaks out across Emma’s face makes Regina think she understands. But later, she’ll have to make sure of it.

“Want me to go start breakfast?” Emma asks, leaning down to kiss two sleep-tossled heads.

Regina takes a peek at their surprisingly silent child and finds that she’s fallen fast asleep again. That much excitement so early in the morning had clearly taken its toll. What begins as a contented sigh at Hope snuggling closer turns into a yawn.

“I think it’s time for more sleep,” Regina says. She eyes Emma, noticing that while she had washed her face while in the bathroom, that doesn’t hide the way her sleepiness clouds her features. Then she folds back the covers on Emma’s side of the bed. “Unless you’re hungry.”

“Sleep wins.”

Emma falls into bed without hesitation, though her stomach voices its dissent with a growl. They both laugh. She scoots close, rubbing her hand up and down Hope’s back before clasping hands with Regina.

It feels wonderful, being cuddled up safely with her family. More wonderful than she ever could have wished for. Those thoughts were right there too, telling her not to get used to it. That it felt so good because it wasn’t real. That it was only a matter of time before Hope grew to hate her, as everyone has always hated her.

They are easier to brush aside, cuddled up like this. It doesn’t take much to recognize her mother’s voice behind the words and see that for what it is. That her mother is dead and Regina is free from her venom and that she won’t lose this. That her daughter loves her so much that she left the thing she had been most looking forward to all summer early so she could come home and fall asleep with her moms.

This is the kind of magic that Regina had been told her whole life she would never be able to access. Now she feels it tingling through her body with a kind of power she never experienced at her height as the Evil Queen. Even the Queen inside of her seems at peace with it.

“Apparently,” Emma starts, breaking the quiet. “She woke up and stated very firmly that it was time for her to go home. Eion said he hadn’t even had the chance to get his coffee started yet. The poor man was still in his bathrobe when he answered the door.”

“She really does love us, doesn’t she?”

Regina can’t seem to help feeling a little weepy as she kisses the top of Hope’s head. She has bottled up all these emotions since Hope started first grade, but the awareness that she is surrounded by unconditional love in that moment, that she has been all year, loosens the cap. It takes everything in her not to let it all come spilling out in a sobbing mess. A dignified queen indeed.

For all of Emma’s difficulties in finding the words she wants to express herself, Regina has never in her life known anyone better at communicating with a simple look.

Her entire face softens. Her lips form a gentle smile. Her eyes lighten with compassion. It’s far from the gruffness she often shows the outside world, but just as fierce. Regina knows once again that Emma can tell what she’s thinking, and she shares her feelings.

Emma kisses Regina’s forehead, long and soft, then she burrows under the covers and pulls her family close. ‘I love you’s are whispered and Regina feels them hit true in her heart. It has been far too long since Regina felt so at peace as she drifts off to sleep.

There will be much to do when she wakes. Calls to Kathryn and Tiana about the upcoming elections, to get their opinions on her plan and how to ease the transition of power. The council will need to come to session earlier than scheduled. Then who knows what they’ll want her to do appease their need to feel like they’re always the ones in charge.

But for once, none of that has the power to keep Regina awake. She doesn’t even stay awake long enough to notice Emma watching her sleep for several minutes before closing her own eyes. 

Everything else can wait. The people in her arms - in her heart - are enough.


End file.
